Book Club #3- Five Languages of Love of Children

After reading The 5 Languages of Love by Dr. Chapman for our last book club,  We decided to read the one for children for our July book club meeting. 

The book describes in great detail each love language which is followed by a chapter on how to figure out what is your child's primary love language. After reading this book, I could see that my daughter's love language is quality time, she loves to spend one on one time with me, she asks to play board games, read to me, and go run errands with me. I could also see that my son's love language is gifts. He gets so excited when I get  him a little gift, it can be anything from a lollipop, to a small toy, he treasures them and puts them into his treasure box or is constantly carrying them around with him. 

Here are the five languages:

Quality Time- Your child feels most loved when you are  doing things with the kids, spending time and doing different activities with them.

Words of Affirmation- Your child feels most loved when you use positive words, praise, love notes, and affection to towards them. 

Gifts- Your child feels most loved when you give them gifts, little notes and cards. They usually proudly display their gift, or carry it around with them everywhere they go. 

Acts of Service- Your child feels most loved when you do things for them, it could be fixing their toy, making them a special snack, getting their things together for school, etc. 

Physical Touch- Your child feels most loved when you hug, cuddle, hold hands with them. With boys it could be wrestling, playing sports with them. 

I especially love that at the end of each chapter on the different love languages, it gives a list of suggestions and ideas on how to implement that love language into your child's life. Sometimes I need ideas, and this helps me out. 

Dr. Chapman goes to say that you should speak all love languages to your child, similarly you should never use a disciplinary method which attacks their primary love language. For example you would spank a child whose primary love language is physical touch or send a child to their room if their primary love language is quality time. It can really hurt your child's love tank. 

In chapter 7 it says, Speaking your childs primary love language helps her feel loved. When your child feels loved, when her emotional tank is full she will be more responsive to parental guidance in all areas of her life. She will listen without resentment. 

In the next chapter it discusses discipline, my favorite part which I highlighted:

"Contrary to what many people think, discipline comes from the Greek word "to train". Discipline involves the long and vigilant task of guiding a child from infancy to adulthood. The goal is that the child would reach a level of maturity that will allow him to one day to function as a responsible adult in society."

"To be effective in discipline, parents must keep the child's emotional love tank filled with love. In fact, discipline without out love is like trying to run a machine without oil."

I think that all parents could benefit from reading this book. When you understand your children, you can build stronger relationships as a family. 

Have you read this book?

Thanks for visiting, 

Book Club #2- Five languages of Love

As you may know, I have started a book club with some friends, you can read about our first book  here.

June's book was The 5 Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman. 

I actually had this book on my bookshelf since the day I got married, in fact someone gave it to us as a wedding gift 10 years ago. I am embarrassed to say I have never read it until now. 

I didn't think I needed marriage advice books, I thought I had everything figured out. But as I was going through my bookshelf, found it and decided to give it a try. 

I wish I read it sooner in my marriage, in fact, I wish I read it before I got married.  It opened my eyes to what my husband's love language is and what is mine. It made so many things make sense and fall into place. 

In the book Dr. Chapman, explains that we all have a love tank, which needs to be filled. 

Before you get married, the love tank is usually over flowing with love. 

He also talks about the "in love" feelings, and says that they usually only last about 2 years, after that you really need to work on the relationship. That is when you need to understand that love is a choice. It is a daily choice to put your spouse's interest before our own. 

Dr. Chapman talks about 5 different love languages in detail, I will just give a brief overview of them.

1. Words of Affirmation- This is your love language if you feel most loved and cared about when your spouse is expressive in telling you how wonderful you are and how much they appreciate you and everything you do. Compliments make you thrive. 

2. Quality Time- This is your love language if you feel lost loved when your spouse spends time with you. Fully there and focused on you. 

3. Receiving Gifts-  This is your love language if you feel most loved when your spouse gives you gifts. It can be as simple as getting you that box of chocolate he knows you like or picking some flowers for you. 

4. Acts of Service- This is your love language if you feel most loved when your spouse helps out with the chores around the house, cooking or watching the kids. In other words, you feel loved and taken care of when your spouse takes the time to make your life easier. 

5. Physical Touch- This is your love language if you feel most loved when your spouse gives you physical attention. It can be a hug, kiss, touch and sexual intimacy. 

Dr. Chapman says that Love is a choice, find your spouses love language and choose to show love to your spouse in that way. Its not about what YOU need to feel loved, its about what your spouse needs. 

I loved this book, I have read it twice so far and I will re-read it again when I need a little reminding.

Thanks for visiting, 

Book Club#1- Bringing up Girls

A few of my friends and I decided to start a book club. We are going to be reading books that can help us learn and grow spiritually and emotionally.

This was actually our book from May, and I am just getting around to posting about it.

I figured that since we all had daughters, Bringing up Girls would be a great book to start with.

I was able to take away so much information from this book. In fact, I love owning books because I can highlight, add sticky notes on everything I want to remember. My daughter is young, and I thought that this book would not apply, but it does, it really does! I also see myself re-reading it a few years down the road to remind myself, why girls act the way they do. 

As soon as our children can talk, we need to be teaching them the fundamentals of faith. Dr Dobson uses personal examples to show how this looked in his own family, and Scriptural examples of fathers who were great men of the faith—but failed to pass it on to their children. He also shares lots of studies and statistics. 

Throughout the book, Dr. Dobson is brutally honest about the challenges that today’s parents face in raising their children with Christian values. In fact, I really got scared about my daughter going into high school (which would be in about 10 years!) But Isaiah 41:10 quickly popped into my head :

Fear not, for I am with you; Do not be afraid for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. I know that with Gods help and with advice given by Dr Dobson, I can be armed with the knowledge to raise a wonderful, God fearing girl. 

Phillipians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Dr Dobson says that it is important to build relationships with kids from their earliest childhood. I can not agree with him more! Your sons and daughters must know that you love them unconditionally and that everything you require is for their own good.

 Dr Dobson covers the challenges our daughters face nowadays such as low self-esteem (wanting to be “beautiful” in the world’s eyes) Dr Dobson shows you how to help your daughter develop AND maintain a healthy body image, despite what society and the media want our girls to be.

He also talks about why girls (toddlers and teenagers) act the way they do (and how and why they’re different from boys). OMG, this part was so eye opening for me. 

He covers some points on how to teach girls to be ladies (basically manners and morals).

He also has a section in which he sat down with 16 college-age women and talked to them about their relationships with their fathers.  It was really enlightening, I also liked his chapter on “Why Daddies Matter” – for those dads who might not realize how significant they are in their daughters’ lives – how much of an influence they are in their lives. This part got me thinking about my relationship with my father, and how it has affected my life. 

Dr. Dobson is a Christian and therefore this book brings a lot of the word of God into the principles of raising your daughter to be a Godly woman.  But I do believe this is a book that could benefit anyone, especially if they’re needing advice on a difficult situation involving their daughter.  Dobson talks about culture, consequences, puberty, bullies and friends, and how to encourage a lifestyle of modesty (including the idea of a Purity Ball, which I love!).

I felt I was able to take away many helpful principles after reading this book.  There were some things I didn’t know or even realize, and many things I’ll be somewhat prepared for now that I’ve read about them. 

I am so excited to read more books that would help me become a better wife, mother and person, plus the fact that I have scheduled time to sit down with my friends and drink tea, have some dessert  together doesn't hurt at all ;)

Thanks for visiting,