Visiting a postpartum mother....

 I dropped some food off at my cousins house who just had a baby, and it really got me thinking about when I had my babies. I liked having company over to visit me and see my baby.  However, there were a few cases where I couldn't wait till the company went home. 

So I figured that I would do a little list on what to do and not to do when visiting a postpartum mother

1. Call before hand. Don't just show up at the door step. Ask when you can stop by for a brief visit. Most of the time we new moms are in sweats or PJs all day. If we know you are coming we could at-least put some clothes on :).

2. Bring food. Weather it is a casserole you make or a fruit tray you buy. A new mother is always hungry. Don't ask her if you can bring food. Just do it.  Most new moms in our culture are unlikely to ask for help. 

3. If you bring food, make sure it is not in any of your plates or tupperware which she needs to give back. The last thing a new mom needs, is to try and remember which plate belongs to whom and when and how she will return it. Use disposable containers. Or if you use tupperware, tell her that she can keep it.

4. Skip the perfume. Little babies are sensitive to smells, you don't want them to get a allergic reaction.

5. Wash your hands before you ask to hold the baby.

6. If you are a smoker, Please don't ask to hold the baby. Last thing a mom wants is to expose her new baby to second hand smoke.

6. Don't give unwanted advice. What my aunts used to say: put the baby down, you are going to spoil him/her. I just want to hold my new baby, It does not mean I am spoiling him/her.
If the mother asks you for your opinion, only then give her your advice.

7. Don't hog the baby. Hold the baby for a few minutes. Then give the baby back. I was most comfortable while holding the baby myself.

8. Ask if you can do anything to help out. Wash that sinkful of dishes, fold some laundry. Pick up the scattered toys.

9. Don't expect the mom to play hostess, fetching you tea or coffee. You are there to see the new baby, not there for lunch. (Unless the mom invites you over to lunch, then ask what you can do to help or hold the baby while she does what she needs to do)

10. Keep your visit brief. The mom is tired. Nursing, cuddling, changing diapers takes all day. Especially if she has little toddlers to take care of as well. Stay 15-30 minutes max.  I remember people overstaying their welcome, it was not pleasant.

If you remember these tips, the mom will be grateful and will return the favor the next time you have a baby.

Hope this is helpful. :)